


loudmouthed and quiet-hearted

by foodstamps



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Writer's Block, idek what im doing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 09:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foodstamps/pseuds/foodstamps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>youre such a coward</p>
            </blockquote>





	loudmouthed and quiet-hearted

**Author's Note:**

> im in a huge writers block rn everything i write is poopy so gomen

It's four A.M., and the moon is burning a white shadow through your bedroom, leaving periwinkle patterns on the wall violated and exposed. Your phone lays idly and just a bit daringly on the edge of your bedside table, beckoning you to it's counterfeited advanced camera app, but then again, it's four fucking A.M. 

And you're too busy embroidering monsters into your heart to care anyway. 

Your bed isn't the worst out there, in fact, your bro probably paid top dollar for it as per his more-than-sufficient funds, but it's not soft enough and it's too, too cold. It's so cold and you'd rather drown in a pool of liquid nitrogen because at least _then_ you wouldn't be so alone as well.

But John would be so warm.

He is the sunlight and all it brings, but he won't rise in your broken little world anymore because he's got bigger planets to shine on now. He's the dawn, he's the day, and you're stuck in this neverending twilight and goddamn it no you're not doing this anymore.

no

stop

please

 

You grab your phone. 

It's been seventeen minutes since you last replied, and patient blue text sits at the bottom of your screen, waiting silently for your answer.

EB: okay?  
But of course, that makes no sense on it's own so for some mind-boggling reason you scroll up to read your fucking mortifying piece of shit excuse for a conversation, because obviously you have't embarrassed yourself enough yet. 

TG: so yeah bout that thing i needed to tell you  
TG: yo  
TG: you there  
EB: oops, sorry.  
TG: ffs are you fallin asleep on me there  
TG: cause its aight if you are i mean  
TG: even though its only like what  
TG: one there  
TG: man up  
EB: shut up!!! i'm universes more man than you could ever be, dave "i can't pee in the dark help john i'm so afraid of imaginary ghosts" strider.  
TG: dude ok not cool  
TG: you cant just use my deep dark secrets against me what kinda friend are you  
TG: thats it  
TG: im leaving and im takin the fucking baby with me  
TG: seriously though  
TG: the thing  
EB: dave...  
TG: zip it  
TG: this is some p heavy shit so be prepared  
TG: and before you ask no you dont get a fucking head start  
TG: put this shit off aside long enough  
EB: dave, listen.  
EB: stop.  
TG: i said quiet  
TG: god  
TG: ok uh  
TG: yeah i think  
EB: i know.  
TG: you didnt even let me finish  
EB: you like me, right?  
EB: i'm pretty sure everyone and their grandmas could figure it out, i mean i think i've known for more than a year now!  
EB: i just...  
TG: whoa whoa whoa whoa shit  
TG: wait  
TG: if you knew then why didnt you just fucking tell you you dick  
TG: coulda saved me a lot of grief there you know because  
TG: oh  
EB: yeah.  
TG: what are you serious  
TG: come the fuck on  
EB: i tried to stop you, but you wouldn't listen!  
TG: john please  
TG: you cant do this to me  
EB: it's not like i chose to be straight.  
EB: it's just how it is! nothing's going to change my romantic preference, no matter how suave and sexy you are.  
TG: johnb lsuteb you realy cabt do thsi to me omg  
TG: johnf  
EB: calm down!!!  
TG: jobsn i lvoe yowiu yuoiu idont dndunerstnad i nedc e thsi  
TG: jsut thsih onea thing  
EB: dave, for the sake of all that is awesome and cool, please stop being a big baby and turn your autocorrect on.  
EB: i mean, i could read that.  
EB: but you have to understand that it wouldn't work.  
EB: i just don't like you that way, dude!  
EB: but no matter what, you're still my best friend, and i don't want to lose you, homo crush or no-homo crush.  
EB: okay?  


no no no no no no no no no 

no 

no

You aren't crying, but that's only because you were taught not to cry over spilled milk.

You bite your lip, and try to inhale a bit of fresh air, but it's all poison. Every breath is dripping with acidic barbs and you're struggling to keep yourself intact. 

You kept your beasts inside of you to make you brave, to keep you on your toes because you're never good enough otherwise. Because without them you'd forget about the real world and get lost in a sea of uncapitalized text and careful punctuation. Usually they're so, so easy to fight off, but now you're left vulnerable and there's way too many for your own good.

The monsters are eating at your heart whole.

There's only one choice.

Your fingers ready themselves up for their last dance of red to blue.

TG: yeah  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]! --  



End file.
